Friday, May 16, 2014

First Date

I'm still trying to process my emotions.  I'm kind of all over the place.  When we left Brian asked me if he did okay and started crying.  He was ready to take the boys home and so am I.  I just really hate all this waiting and stretching all this out.  I have to defer to those who have schooling and training for this sort of thing, I have to trust they know what's best but I personally feel like a quicker transition is better.  It's been over 3 weeks since our caseworker asked us to look at their photos and decide if we want to meet them, which we did immediately.  From there it took over 3 weeks to meet the boys.  Now we won't see them for another week.  From there I just don't know how long everything takes.  I hope the line in the sand doesn't keep moving but it just feels like we can't get any traction.  Obviously by next Friday or weekend they are not going to remember us and we have to start all over again.

And I wanted to be upset and mad about all that but then we heard that friends of ours who have been fostering 2 kids for over a year went into a court hearing that was to terminate parental rights (the last step in a long line of steps before you can start adoption proceedings).  A family member came into court and the judge granted the family member who hasn't been in the picture for the past year custody rights.  I can't even imagine the devastation our friends are going through.   They've been with these kids for over a year and were ready to adopt and now their kids who they considered their own are gone.  This is the worst case scenario for folks like us looking to adopt through foster care.  Obviously placing children with family members is the best way to go but that should happen quickly, not over a year after they have been placed with a foster family who wants to adopt.

All the sudden waiting a couple months for your kids to come home with you doesn't sound so bad.


  1. Waiting is the worst thing and being in limbo. thinking positive thoughts for you guys! how did it go with the boys? Toddler boys are the best! :)

  2. With really young kids (under 3), the courts generally aim to either reunify or terminate parental rights within 18 months of the initial removal, if that helps at all. After 3 years, all bets are off from my experience as a Court Appointed Special Advocate, but each state is different and California is crazy in this regard (as in so many others, too). Don't worry about the kids forgetting you - their lives are very scheduled and regimented so anything out of their normal routine will stick in their minds.

    I'm crossing my fingers and praying that by the time we are in Wilmington next month you'll be a mama! xoxo