Wednesday, April 30, 2014

...The Stretch...

Last Monday, I think, this is what happens when you don't write in a timely manner, but I think it was last Monday we met our new placement worker.  We were his first 90 day evaluation and it went pretty easy.  I believe it was the next day he called me to talk to me about the two boys I had turned down, the 3 and the 2 year olds.  He said I should really reconsider because they were already cleared for adoption and the process would be much easier than the standard fostering with visitations and stressful court dates.  He offered to send me over a photograph and if I was interested we could set up a nonchalant meeting with them and their current foster parents in a park, just to meet them.  I agreed really kind of surprised these boys weren't snatched up already.

Their photograph was adorable and after showing it to Brian and talking about it for like 2 seconds we agreed to meet them.  I called back our placement worker and he was going to get busy setting up a meeting.

It all sounds very exciting doesn't it?  Since then he's spoken to the boys' new social worker and she wanted to review our file over the weekend.  Then yesterday our placement worker called and said there was going to be a meeting next Tuesday where they were going to go over a list of folks interested in adopting and pick the best one.

Though I haven't lost faith in anything and I'm not trying to be down about it, we were so looking forward to meeting the boys and seeing how we got along and mostly talking with the foster parents about their experience.  I thought this would be a sort of simple affair, exciting (!), but simple.  Now it's turned very bureaucratic (and lengthy), and it's fine, but if we are chosen then the pressure is there not to meet them and see how it goes but jump full in and adopt them.  And maybe that's the way it's supposed to be.  If you adopt internationally you don't turn down a placement until you can meet the kid, you freak out and jump up and down and say this is my kid, it was meant to be.  So, I'm trying to go with that.  If every step works out then it was perhaps meant to be, if it doesn't, if we are turned down, that's okay too, maybe it wasn't meant to be.

We both are so excited and we talk about the boys all the time and about how everything is going to change and how exciting and special that is.  We love their little faces and hope so much that they like us.  I know the transition is going to be hard for them (and us) and I want to make it as smooth as possible but even if we are perfect, even if we do everything the right way, it's going to be tough, can you imagine leaving you home and your parents and moving to a new home with new parents and everything is new and different and you can't go back?  They've already done this once and now they have to do it again.  It's heartbreaking.  I can't even imagine. 

But we'll just take this one step at the time.  I just wanted to update my blog.  I was hoping for more exciting news but it really is stretching out.


  1. Oh I'm so excited for you! Those boys would be SOOO lucky to have you as their Mom. I just know you will have a child one day ... whether it is these boys or someone else. I'm sending lots of good wishes your way. Thank you for sharing your journey. I'm rooting for you!

  2. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out as it's meant to and that those two boys are settled in a forever home as quickly as possible. (And I hope that's with the two of you, naturally!)