Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Diet & Exercise

Week 3
Seems a bit weird to admit I've been watching my weight through this whole thing.  I weighed myself on February 26 the day of the Oscar party and I was 214 pounds.  I waited to weigh myself when I got home because all I've heard about is how fluids from IVs make you bloated.  This past Sunday I weighed 205 pounds.  Holy cow, I'm so close to wonderland!  That said I didn't even care anymore dealing with this nausea.  I really felt like something was wrong and then slowly it went away.  Saturday morning I had a little bit and we took a short walk after breakfast.  For dinner I had a Filet we bought on sale at the grocery store and ever since then I've been really great.  Sunday morning I even craved breakfast!  I feel perfectly normal now and I'm so grateful.  Oh my god, am I grateful.  My appetite has come back for the first time in I don't even know how long so I've had to be really careful with calories.  I've actually gone over the past couple of days but I'll find a new rhythm.
I'm also totally off any pain killers of any kind.  I still have some soreness but I'm over the pills, I'm just done with them.  First my cold and then my period and then my surgery and then my stupid period again.  The toughest part is sleeping.  I'm a tummy sleeper and I bit of a readjuster (I move around a lot) and being on my stomach and/or moving around makes my big scar sore.  But other than that I've been doing great.  I even vacuumed yesterday (it's a canister so it's lighter than a regular vacuum).

I have an appointment next week with my gynecologist to discuss the endometriosis.  I don't even know if there's anything to say or what can be done but I thought it was important, especially considering I think my nausea was period related.  My periods seem to get more and more difficult to deal with.  It's not even my doctor, I don't really have a doctor anymore.  My doctor retired and then I had a new doctor who I really liked and then she moved.  I saw another doctor that I liked for my last visit but when I called they booked me with someone else.

I've been having nightmares.  I think it's a combination of all that I've been going through healthwise and being scared and lost about it and then having the break in the day before I came home from the hospital.  I dream about weather a lot, hurricanes and tornadoes, and then I throw in serial killers and other criminals.  They did an article in our newspaper about theft and how they don't really prosecute strongly because the focus is on violent crime.  So there's examples of criminal thieves who have robbed people like 30 times and they never get any jail time.  I understand violent crime being the focus but this feels like it's out of control.  I don't feel safe anymore, I'm constantly afraid someone going to jump the fence and come after me.  Who jumps an 8 foot fence to steal a 52 inch television?  It just doesn't make any sense to me.  I keep finding weird things.  Like they unplugged the outdoor fairy lights I have on the deck railing.  Not just from the source but where the 2 lights connect.  That just seems so odd to me.  Are the fairy lights going to give you away?  Also our grill was partly disconnected.  I went to cook the steak and turned on the gas and gas started pouring out very loudly and scared the crap out of me.  Brian had to come out and tighten it, I was so afraid of a spark and the thing exploding (did you know I'm super afraid of fire?).  Now I don't want to use the grill because I'm not sure it's safe anymore.

I just feel like having your home broken into is a big deal, a really big deal and you should get mandatory jail time.  Not that we have any leads or anything on the guys who broke into our house.  We had a neighbor who saw 2 guys running with our television and they dropped it, shattering it.  It's not even that our stuff was stolen that upsets me, though your stuff should be your stuff.  It's not feeling safe.  It's having an 8 foot privacy fence that does nothing for security.  It's that at any moment any time someone feels like it they could get to me.  They just have to want to.  And how different is that FEELING from being a victim of a violent crime?


  1. I'm glad you're feeling better physically. I've never had my home broken into but someone broke into and stole my car while it was packed for an imminent evacuation due to fires near my house. I remember not wanting to drive it again until I could get it fully detailed because someone evil had been inside. It was a crazy thing but I really did drive with gloves on until I could get it professionally cleaned from top to bottom. Hopefully the feelings will pass for you soon.

  2. Yes, that's exactly what I feel. They spent a lot of time in the bedroom and pulled out a lot of my clothes. I was just sickened by that. Everything got cleaned but it still bothers me. Everything in this bedroom was touched. I threw some things away, it was just too much.