Friday, February 24, 2012

Oh, You, Stressed?

I wish so badly that this conversation was recorded.  I can only hope to recreate the essence of the phone conversation between my mom and myself.

Mom: ... Can you do "X" for me.
Me: Yes, but not right now, some other time, I'll call you.
Mom: Are you feeling okay?
Me: No, I still have that stomach thing.
Mom: Is it because of your period or your things, your fibroids?
Me: No, it's not in my uterus area, it's more intestinal, I think it's stress related.
Mom: Oh you, stressed?  In that lovely cute house and perfect life?
Me: I know, right, first world problems
Mom: What?
Me: You know, everyone has problems, sort of thing
Mom: Yes, you think you are rich and someone else has money problems and they have the same amount of money as you.
Me: Something like that.
Mom: That reminds me, I've been meaning to tell you.  You should really start putting money away.  Brian doesn't have retirement and if something happens, I mean, if he dies, he has diabetes and you'd have nothing if something happened to him.
Me: thanks mom, you are really helping my stress.
Mom: (flustered) well, I was just trying to help
Me: Okay, talk to you later.
Mom: Don't forget I need you to do "X"

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Know, I Know: And This is Way Too Much Personal Information, I'm Just Warning You

I know, I'm like short an entire weigh in post and you know I can use this blog thing for something besides a weekly weigh in.  The thing is, I got really sick.  I know, I just was sick.  I got over my cold and husky cough and then I was hit with the worst stomach issues imaginable.  I tried ever thing google could tell me to do and nothing worked.  I went to the doctor's yesterday who was like, "odd, usually these things last a couple days and you've had this a week now.  That's so odd.  BTW there's nothing I can really do for you."  He did give me a prescription for Imodium and the thing is I didn't need Imodium, I welcomed needing Imodium.  I was praying for some sort of release, if you know what I mean.  My stomach was in complete knots to the point where I was having trouble sleeping.  But hey, it cost me $50 co-pay to have a doctor give me a unnecessary prescription and tell me homeopathic remedies was bullshit (thank you by the way, peppermint tea is gross!) and for me to take that prescription anyway and have my first night of full on sleep in days, I'll take it.  My diet is so bland now I might as well be an 80 year old man but I think the worst might be over.

I was certain it was IBS or spastic bowel (google doctor) but my doctor seemed sure it was some sort of virus that was having its way with me.  Maybe my immune system was shot from a terrible 3 week cold and then to follow with a stomach virus was too much.  I have no idea.  But I was so bummed and lost thinking I had IBS, there is no cure, notice from my lack of prescription remedies, and I felt so hopeless, I really felt like what if I stayed like this, how was I going to survive, how could I live with constant stomach cramping, every day all day and all night, with no relief anywhere, not even passing gas?

I also thought maybe this was brought on by stress.  I have stress, oddly enough, crazy stress that people walk around with when their husband owns a small business and they do the books, but gee whiz, I've had stress WAY WAY worse than this, I was once 3 weeks from foreclosure.  I answered the door when a sheriff gave me the notice.  I know stress and I've never had any sort of issues like this.

Maybe it's because I'm 40.  I wouldn't think things would have sudden onset but, get this, I woke up one morning and ever single item with print on it is too freaking small.  I can't read anything anymore.  I refuse to wear bifocals, dammit.  I was just trying to read a bottle of aspirin for dosage and was doing the old person pull it back and forth in front of my eyes until I could read it (I know aspirin is bad for my stomach, migraine trumps all).  I just don't recall this problem back in September when I was 39.

If it was stress and my stress was somehow lightened by deep meditations and thinking of the white light going into my stomach (hey, thanks again, google), I found out today my brother's wife is pregnant again.  They emailed me!!!! Thank you Jesus!  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I guess my reaction horrified them last time, I don't care, just thank you for emailing me.  I was able to write a very appropriate response and spend the afternoon private feeling sorry for myself.  Hey, it's better than feeling sorry for myself in public.  No one wants that.  And I'm happy to report, NO TEARS.  No pulling over on the drive home and wailing my brains out in an abandoned gas station while my husband comforts me with sure we have $10,000 to drive to New Jersey for egg donation sure we do, honey...

...No, we don't.  We really don't.  White light, hi there, white light.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Weigh Day (Was Sunday)

I know I'm probably supposed to be disappointed in my weigh in this week but 2 things, 1) I weighed in a 219 on Thursday and never cheated and then went crazy up to 221 on Friday, then 220 on Saturday and in good form that I seem to be following I have to gain a pound on Saturday no matter what (I've done this 3 weigh ins now) so I was then 221.5.  I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong so how could I be upset.  I really find it quite comical.  Then today I weighed 219, so there you go.  Of course I started my period today so this week should be a humdinger for weigh ins.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

That Darn Mom

My mom asked me to post some things for her on Craigslist.  Little did I realize I would be spending an hour posting 18 separate ads for her.  First she sent the first set of 11 via text message with photos.  The next day she asked me to text her back each item with the price because she couldn't find the texts she sent me.  This was all while I was too sick to do much of anything.  But fine, a couple days later I sat down and wrote an email with all items and prices.  She changed the price of 2 of them.  One of them is a chair they are still selling at Pier One for $75 cheaper than what my mom wanted me to list it for on craigslist.  Then today she sends me another set of items to post for her.  I hate the iphone cloud for photos, I end up with 3 copies of every photo on every device and it drives me nuts and you can't delete anything it comes right back so I have to download my photo with an app.  So I download all her pictures print the email with prices and get going on craigslist.  Here I am one hour later.  I had to share the craziest 2 with you, as if the Pier One chair isn't enough.

First up, for $25 you can drive to my mom's house to buy 4 glass storage containers.

Maybe you got the set of 20 or so that I got from Costco for $15 so this doesn't float your boat.  Can I interest you in a fake orchid plant in a white cachepot with black rocks.  It will only put you back $40.

I don't know if you can tell from the photo but this is a small (fake) plant, maybe 8 inches tall total including the pot.  And it's been in our house I don't know how long, I think since I've lived there.

Too good.  Almost worth wasting that hour to get a funny post up.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Pinchy Throat

Oh, I hate when people do posts like this but here goes.

I was very very sick last week and lost 4.5 pounds.  I know it screws everything up but hey, I'll TAKE IT!  I never lose weight when I'm sick, people always do but I never do.  This cold started with a sore throat and my taste buds being off so that was the bulk of it, I generally don't like to eat things that don't taste very good, combine that with avoidance of hunger through tons of sleep and coughing for exercise, I thought I had a chest bruise there for a while.  I'm on the upside, finally, for this cold, but I'm at that weird stage I get where I'll start choking, not coughing but choking and I cough and cough this really unsubstantial cough and drink like 2 glasses of water and tears pour out my eyes and finally I'm okay. I call this "Pinchy Throat" and I've been getting it as long as I can remember.  I once remember in my early 20s being a waitress and getting the pinchy throat at while taking my table's order and I can't stop coughing and I have to walk away and go choke in the back of the house where I do the fake chokey thing (because the cough is so lame at this stage) and the chug water thing until it goes away.  I came out a few minutes later sweating and watery eyes.  Good times, good times.  Yes, this is the upside to my cold!  How about that.

I got a little jump start that really had me pumped!  If only I could lose 4.5 pounds every week!  I wanted to do something fun considering I'm almost 20 pounds down and my goals seem to be in sets of 20 pounds.  40 pounds to 200 pounds and then 40 more pounds to my goal weight of 160.  Since I'm almost 1/4 there and things really get more fun and exciting the closer I get to 200 pounds, I was trying to think of a small cheapish, non-food reward that I could get on  a pretty standard basis.  I was thinking every 2 to 5 pounds I get such-and-such reward.  So I've been thinking about that and came across this photo on Abchao's bathroom remodel and I noticed displayed above the sink was a bowl of nail polishes.

That seemed like the perfect idea to me, I could collect nail polishes!  I've been trying to think of how to exactly facilitate it and I think every 3 pounds I lose I can buy one nail polish.  When I hit 199, onederland, as we say, I will buy the ultimate nail polish, a really expensive kind with big flakes of glitter.  I almost found this exact bowl at Home Goods today.  I bought one a little less full-on swipe of idea but now I'm second guesses that choice and may pick a pretty anthropologie bowl.  We'll see.

Three pounds is a good choice because 21 pounds puts me at 199 pounds which I thought was an extra special weight and I'll have collected 7 polishes by then, well on my way to a fine collection.

**PSS - I also find it very weird how I'm starting to like brass/bronze.  I really used to hate it, I mean really hate it but I'm starting to see it in instances where I really like it, like these light fixtures.