Monday, August 18, 2014

This Old House

We finally broke down last night and called the AC company.  Unfortunately we got the service guy who always complains about our unit and our house.  It's such a downer.  I can't help that our AC unit is next to the deck.  I can't help that our crawlspace is 20 inches tall (at best).  I know it's a nightmare, but it is what it is.

He's out there for like 5 minutes and comes in and says it's the return duct work.  Brian's all IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT COSTS and I'm like SHUT UP DUDE.  He's supposed to call later today and I didn't want to give Debby Downer my number so he could tell me it'll cost $800 to repair and I have to make that decision so poor Brian who has a jury trial tomorrow will get his call in the middle of all that.  I did not live up to my wifey duties, however, I can't deal with this guy.

This whole summer we've been debating whether the issue was the return (what I think because it won't suck up paper and hardly any dust or hair) or the ductwork (what Brian thinks because the air is weak, yet cold).

When the repair man leaves Brian said, "You said, 'I knew it!' when he said it was the return but it was the duct work."

And I said, "Yeah the duct work of the RETURN, so I was right."  Really, we were both right though I think Brian thinks he's right.  If he was so sure then we should have just called the handyman to repair the duct line, now we're already $89 (service call) invested in this guy jacking up the repair cost because he hates our house.  I thought it was going to be more than the duct work because we just had some duct work replaced at the beginning of the summer.  But we think it happened after that because the air was working ok for a while and then it's progressively gotten worse.

Luckily this summer has not been very hot but my power bill was almost twice what it was last year at this time (in units used) so it's still a pretty big issue that has to be resolved.  Today the heat index is supposed to be in the 100s, so that sucks.  Our bedroom is still nice and cool thanks to our window unit supplementation. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

News From a Fancy Bedroom

It took me a while to make a decision and I'm certain Anthropologie is going to come out with to-die-for sheets any moment now, but after much consideration I decided to go with these turquoise polka dot sheets from Garnet Hill.  From time to time I get a 20% off coupon and I waited like a week and could wait no more, I did luck out with free shipping.  I hope we like our new sheets!


In related news, you probably know this about me especially if you follow me on Twitter and/or Instagram but I get a little over-angry when certain bloggers do posts like how to style your bedroom end tables and they put out fresh flowers and delicate objects all snooty like this is how all bedroom tables should look all the time.  Especially bloggers I KNOW HAVE CATS.  Because you know if you have cats, you cannot do anything fancy with most of your table tops.  Because this happens almost immediately:



There is an alarm clock on my end table and it's attached to the back of the table with one of those cord cover nail things.  That's all that's on the table unless you want to wake up to it on the floor.  I just want to see these decorating blogger with cats real end tables.  It would be so satisfying.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Where I Talk About My Lady Parts

...I warned you.

I've been dreaded returning to get my annual gynecological exam because last year's was such a slap in the face.  I don't even know if I wrote about it and now, almost a year later, I'm willing to accept my part in the fallout but, still, jeez, read my freaking chart Doc.

Let me back up.

Like every year you go in and they give you a sheet of paper to fill out.  And it inevitably asks questions like do you have children, what form of birth control do you use, do you want children.  And even though I've jumped off the Reproductive Endocrinologist highway, if you ask me if I still want children, I'M GOING TO CHECK THE BOX.  Am I not supposed to check the box?

Because even though I was 42 years old, overweight, already had 2 operations for infertility related conditions, had 10 IUIs, have 2 new fibroids, the largest measuring 4cm, and had my appendix disintegrated by endometriosis, when my Gyn walked in the room she started talking to me about how IVF was an option to me if I wanted to have a baby.  She didn't even throw in donor eggs, it was just, oh you want to get pregnant, well, geez, you really should, you know.  I walked out of there stunned and a little pissed off.  Later I expressed to Brian that I think there's some sort of marketing/referral thing, the company is ginormous and I can't help but think there's an IVF clinic tied in there somewhere.  And I recognize it's kind of my fault for checking the "do you want children" box.  But this year do I have to make myself not check the box?  It's a little heartbreaking.  I wish the box said, "Have you exhausted all attempts at medically treating infertility?"  Yes, the answer is ab-so-fucking-lutely yes.

And the thing is I need to talk to my doctor.  I'm not ready to roll in there with a quiet pap smear and get out of there.  I'm having real problems and every time I bring it up, this will be the third time, I get the brush off.  I was told the first time, when it becomes a problem then we need to address it.  It ate my appendix, obviously it's a problem!

The past few periods I've had on the second day I have been experiencing a new kind of period pain.  I get this sharp pain in my lower left side that's so bad I have real trouble standing up and I usually yelp in pain.  Each time it happens I consider going to the emergency room, it's that bad.  I'm in pain for about a day, maybe as little as 8 hours or so, and then the next day I'm back to my normal regular awful period pain.  The can only assume it's endometriosis or a really bad fibroid (worse than I've ever had).  I want someone to talk to me about having a hysterectomy. 

I want to know why I wouldn't want to have a hysterectomy.  If any of my readers have had a hysterectomy and can give me some information, I would be very grateful.  I know hormones are an issue, how big of an issue are they?  Are they more of an issue than these terrible periods I'm having?  The last time I discussed this they mentioned Lupron and I don't want to go on Lupron.  I think having another myomectomy would be counter-intuitive at this point and I don't want ablation, I've heard it's painful and doesn't always work.  Why is hysterectomy not on everyone's radar?  Why is it never mentioned?  Is it because of the box?  Because I think everybody should know what you want isn't always in the cards and I'm okay accepting that but I still want to check the box.

Friday, August 01, 2014

Truth

I've been putting off this post for a while but I didn't want to confuse anyone so I just wanted to let you guys know the adoption with the boys didn't work out.  I don't want to get into the specifics about it due to privacy issues and not knowing who reads my blog but I will say the boys were great kids, it had nothing to do with them, but they were way more than I could handle, Brian was and still is crazy about them, but we are on the same page about our decision. 

We are still pursuing foster/adoption, I think one kid is the way to go for me, which is hard in the foster care world because most kids come with siblings.  I've thought about this so much and continue to think on it daily.  The one thing I realized in our experience is if for some reason this doesn't work out, I'm okay with it.  I have a new peace with my infertility.  That said I hope it does work out for us, I still long for the proper placement for us, I hope it will happen.

I've been putting off writing about it because I feel a lot of guilt (though trust me, relief trumps all) and I don't need a bunch of judgement regarding it.  It's really hard to know someone's experience unless you walk in their shoes.  We are all very different people.  What you can handle, I may not be able to handle, and the same in reverse.  This was the best way to go, all things considered, it happened on our first overnight so nothing was drawn out, they never lived with us, the trauma, I'm not saying it's not there, but I think it's minimal.  I've been turning down placements since then because the last thing I want to do is falter again and nothing has hit me with YES I can do that forever (one did but a different placement was found).  That said, if we get the right call, I'm in it 100%, and I really hope that opportunity comes along.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Sunbird, No!

It's a sad day in the Just Nesting household.

My crazy over-adored Anthropologie Sunbird sheets ripped last night. 



Thank god it was on my side so I have only myself to blame.  They were quite the investment and I knew they wouldn't last forever.  I should have bought a spare pair for this sad occasion but I will have to make due with boring sheets until Anthropologie or someone else comes out with adorably patterned sheets that make my heart sing once again.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Oh, Summer

It's kind of a bummer but we broke down last night and bought a window unit.

Every year we have to have our HVAC repaired.  I don't understand it, why can't it be fixed long enough to last a summer (or 2 or 3).  And this year money has been tight so we've been putting it off and putting it off and a couple of mid-90 humid days (the nights are really the worst) and we can't get our air lower than 79 degrees by the time we go to bed, it's been frustrating.  Since we know this time we don't want a quick fix or whatever the hell they do to our machine every year, we decided to take matters into our own hands until we can afford the big fix (all new duct work?) and buy this little fella.



Last night we slept deep and with all our covers on.  It was magical.  The added benefit is it's another mid-90s day and the house is currently 75 degrees, a downright miracle!  I have our bedroom door open and our little machine on low and it's supplementing the house cooling to make it downright comfortable in the house.

I also was able to move the window alarm and this afternoon we'll deal with additional security and I think I have to get some matchstick blinds because I can't close the curtains anymore (last night I used a towel concoction). 

It's ugly and it makes me feel bad because our central air isn't doing the job it's supposed to do but you know we aren't selling this house anytime soon and when we can resolve this problem, maybe for next summer, we will.  Until then, we're making due and it makes life so much more comfortable.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Let's Hang Out

In the land of 2 and 3 years old "play" means all of us, as in foster mommies and their friends (us).  "Hanging out," means alone with no foster mommies.  This is the term they use, for example, when they are babysat, they are "hanging out" with the babysitter.

I never realized how much I use the term hanging out until recently.  One the beach I innocently asked M (the 3 year old), "Is the giraffe hanging out with us," totally not thinking about the power of the words I just spoke.  He looked at me terrified and physically backed off a little.

"...I mean playing, look he's playing with us."

Whew.