If I Could Only Scream From a Mountaintop

My RE called back with my test results. I am not ovulating.

I have to take Progesterone for 5 days and wait until I start my period. When I start my period I call the doctor to set up for IUI and go on Femara that will help me ovulate.

This sucks! I'm in the middle of the two week wait (2ww). I was just thinking today how long this 2 weeks is taking. And now it doesn't even matter.

In other news he also tested for my thyroid, I'm guessing because of my weight. The results were normal. I know from time to time people suggest I get my thyroid tested as a reason for my excess weight. It's old-fashioned bad genes and emotional eating.

Spit Polishing the Blue House

We found out on Sunday that two people that we know both bought houses in the past month, maybe closer than that. I've been pushing to put the blue house back on the market since the festival in April so I brought it up again and Brian agreed with me. We are meeting with our realtor on Thursday.

Today during lunch our discussion returned back to the blue house and the weakness of the kitchen. This kitchen bugs the living hell out of me and I know if I were looking for a house I would not buy this house due to the kitchen. I know that sounds pretty silly considering I was the brainiac who renovated that house so I'll refresh your memory of the time.

We had already completed the yellow house and it was on the market. I had my myomectomy during this renovation so I wasn't there for any physical work for about 6 weeks. Remember, I was dealing with walking on gravel hurting my stomach and it took a while to recover. Money was pouring out for the blue house and by the time we got to the kitchen we were severely depleted of money. Also this kitchen has a terrible layout. It looks like it has a lot of room but it's not functional. It's really terrible. I had to solve the hot water heater issue and the dishwasher issue.



I knew they made what they call "low boy" hotwater heaters that could be mounted under a cabinet so we decided to build in a cabinet on the free wall that would house the hotwater heater. I debated and debated about what to do for the dishwasher. There were 3 options. A) Take out the chimney, like we did in the yellow house, so there would be space to put the dishwasher in cabinet to the right of the sink (the dishwasher door would not open with the chimney in place), B) Put in a smaller sized dishwasher to the left of the sink immediately next to the stove (which at the time I thought would look seriously silly), or C) Get a portable dishwasher and leave it next to the new countertop were it would flow like one countertop area and be easily moved over to do dishes (it's on rollers and connects to the kitchen faucet). Since we were short on money I opted not to remove the chimney. Because I thought a tiny dishwasher might deter buyers (though admittedly the same number a portable dishwasher would) and I thought it would look weird to cram the dishwasher next to the stove, I opted for C, get a portable dishwasher.

The day I went to see the cabinet for the hotwater heater (the handyman selected the hotwater heater and built the cabinet) I was shocked at how large it was.



I really thought it would be counter height and depth. But it was done and we couldn't exactly change our plan at this point due to money so I was going to have to make it work. I put the dishwasher next to the hotwater heater cabinet and since they are different sizes in height and depth it looked really really bad. I think the realtor had the idea to place the dishwasher in front of the chimney so it could be used as extra counterspace but it never looked right having this monstrosity out in the middle of the room.



I bought a bar stool to place beside the hotwater heater cabinet so it would look like a breakfast nook or somewhere to use a lap top or make cookies.




Around the same time our helper shared an idea to put in french doors where the long window is and put a deck outside.




(I know the air conditioner is where the deck will be and is something we have to consider.)


Close in the current exit door and move the washer/dryer lines over there for a stackable.




The best feature of the room is the window so making it more of an asset would work wonder for the room but we were seriously broke at this point and couldn't even consider it.

During our talk today we decided we would reconsider getting the smaller dishwasher and putting it beside the stove and putting in the double french door and deck idea. The market sucks right now but one of the most important things you need to sell your house is having the wow factor, there's a ton of competition. This kitchen sucks and I'm afraid it costs us buyers. Brian is doing well at his office and has been slowly renovating his office building so we decided to put that money towards upfitting the blue house to put back on the market. That is, of course, if the handyman's quote equals what we think it will. At the very least we have to switch out the dishwasher.

Monday Bloody Monday

Sunday night Andy brought in a dead bird and left it in the conference room. Related or Unrelated, we're not sure, there were also about 6 dead giant cockroaches in the room. The truly unfortunate part was the attorney that works for Brian was opening the door to the conference room on Monday to let in potential clients when she saw the dead bird before they did, and led them out, CLEANED UP THE BLOODY BIRD HERSELF IN ATTORNEY ATTIRE, and brought them back in the conference room unaware of the grotesqueness they missed.

Bonus: They hired her.

So we've got a little problem. Immediate help, keep door to conference room closed at night so dead birds will be left out in the open. Two: Set up appointment with an exterminator. Attracted to dead birds or not 6 dead giant cockroaches in one night is too much. Three: Keep bell on Andy's collar. I'm worried that with the stupid magnet ball on his collar that activates the cat door it will stop the jingling in the metal bell. That would be bad. Do the bells even help?

The Nerd Showing

We overcame our Friday night movie dilemma by going to see Iron Man on Saturday morning at 10am. It was awesome. I hope Sex and the City has a 10am showing. In a city of flashlight texting during movies and shelling out $8 to dish with friends in the dark, would that be considered the nerd showing too? Am I a Sex and the City nerd?

Pictures of Andy are up on Flickr. He is one amazing kitty.

Doin' the Neutron Baby Dance

I had my RE appointment today. Just to recap, I had a miscarriage/chemical pregnancy in November followed by a normal period in December. My January period was a crazy 12 long heavy period that left me anemic. The doctor prescribed progesterone to stop bleeding for about 3 weeks and I had a tiny period at the end of that, sometime around Valentine's Day. I didn't have a period after that until April 19. This period seems normal. I took an ovulation test on Thursday that was positive but the test only measures the hormone that leads to ovulation, it doesn't test actual ovulation. You can actually test your ovulation by basal temperature monitoring but I haven't been doing that. I gave up on it because I get up too many times during the night. If you do that you can tell that you ovulated because your temperature increases and remains increased until your period. But I haven't been doing that.

The doctor said it appears by my irregular periods that I'm not ovulating. He ordered more blood tests including a thyroid test and then said he'd prescribe Femara to help me ovulate. It felt like a waste of a $50 copay but I'm getting tested for thyroid and making sure my anemia is gone and setting me up for IUI next cycle, I hope. He put STAT on the blood test form but I didn't hear back from him today.

I still think my ovulation issues are related to TAKING these pills (and/or stopping the pills). I never had an issue before. I feel like my cycles would work themselves out, even now, but I do want to go back to IUI and Femara would help maximize my chances even if it puts my cycles back into this crazy state.

In any case I'm in the two week wait (2ww) now. BD on Tuesday and Thursday. Positive ovulation test on Thursday but it was the only one I took so I might have already peaked.

Landscaping

This weekend we decided to invest in some landscaping. Brian really wanted to add another tree to the front yard. We did buy a Live Oak about a month ago for about $20 and it looks pretty much like a glorified stick.



One of the main things I wanted was something that looked like a small tree and not too expensive. At the local plant store I was wondering around the tree section and came upon a Maple Tree. The shape of the leaves spoke to me, reminded me of being a kid or something, plus it turns colors in the fall, so I choose to go with a Maple tree. The one I saw was $100 and they were supposed to have half sized ones for about $50 so we got some help to track one down for us. She found one and it looked equal in size to the $100 one so we were pretty happy.



We got it home and planted it. The breeze was pushing it over so we ended up staking it for the year. The lady at the plant store was a huge help with all things for shade. I really want to focus on the backyard since we spend more time out there and it feels like an oasis. At the garden show I saw a lot of Holly Ferns so I selected 2 of those, an Endless Summer Hydrangea, and a variegated Hosta. I was going to spread them around the yard but decided to stick to a vignette next to the shed to keep it easy to water.




Also I've been trying to collect picture frames to hang pictures in the hallway. I tried using shelves to hold my old frames but it never really looked right. Here's how it used to look:




And here's how it looks now:



Someone asked me what kind of treat I was using for Bella's pills. It's called "Pill Pockets." This is the Salmon Flavored. They are inexpensive, a whole bag for $4. Bella likes small bites so we use half a treat and mash it around the pill. She scarfs it and wants more. Pills have never been so easy. All the cats are consumed by the smell of these treats, it's kitty crack. I've tried all sorts of gimmicky stuff and standard treats from the supermarket and my cats never like anything, not even tuna from the can. This stuff really works.

Girl Power

I'm so far behind. I still have stuff for Thursday to post. But first, let's talk about last night. Hillary Clinton visited here last night for a rally downtown on the river front. It started at 7 pm but you could line up beginning at 5 pm. We headed down around 6ish. This picture was halfway through the line when we turned the corner.




It took about a half hour altogether to get through the line and security where we ended up in this tight crowded area where we couldn't even tell where the stage was. There was a band by the small tent so I assumed she would be having her speech there. We tried various places but ended up right here resigned that we wouldn't be able to see her. Turns out the stage was on the left in front of the trees.



Bleachers on the left side up to the river.



Around 7 pm, when the speech was to start, we started getting antsy. There are no refreshments or restrooms available once you are through security and no where to sit. The band continued on after 7 pm. I noted that one song was, "Hold On, I'm Coming." Our lovely state senator came out to give a short speech to introduce a military guy who never came out. Not the best organization. A few minutes later a guy came out saying they were waiting to let other folks to get in who were still waiting in line. The crowd booed, my husband was especially loud. Then they turned on regular music, which is never a good thing. More waiting.



Finally, around 7:30 Hillary came out on stage. The first thing I thought when I saw her was, "she's pretty."



She gave a 50 minute speech that was very thorough and specific. She touched lightly on the problem of sewage and the crowd went nuts. Brian whispered to me, "I bet she's never gotten an applause like that over sewer issues." Our town has had sewer issues since as long as I can remember and since growth continues in the area most affected it never seems to improve. Luckily we don't live in that area of town.




I liked all of her ideas. After she was finished the crowd started pushing out to leave. We tried to head to the left to sit on the bleachers while the crowd dispersed and because my feet were killing me to due all the yard work we did this weekend. We were sitting on the bleachers and I saw some cameras going off so I stood up to take a peek.



Hillary had come back out to talk to people, give autographs, take pictures, and shake hands. As people got their final pictures and started clearing off the bleachers we moved closer down the bleachers and finally moved to the backside of the stage on another set of bleachers to get better photographs.



Here, Hillary is signing the shirt of a guy with a mohawk. Note to future rallies, bring paper! She worked around the outside of her stage and we were back at the start of her walk so it was doubtful she'd head back around. But she did! I gave Brian my camera and he went to hand it down to the lady who was there to take photos for people with Hillary. Hillary went to grab the camera and Brian said, "I'm supposed to give my camera to you!?" and she motioned yes, took the camera and handed it to her helper. She turned around for us and we tried to scootch in the best we could.



I was ecstatic. I wish I could explain better what it means to me that we could possibly have a female president and not only that but someone I liked and who's ideas I value.



Hillary stayed a while, always had a smile and took her time. I saw her petting and kissing a dog that someone brought for almost a minute.

While I was on the bleachers taking photos a lady behind me was snapping pictures too. She said something about how my camera was better than hers. I was fumbling with too many options, ISO, Twilight, Flash, No Flash. After Hillary came past us. Brian took the camera to look at the photo. He motioned to the lady behind us to see if she could find herself in the picture, we were going to email her a copy, but it was just her forehead. The lady saw me and her eyes got really big. "What's your name?" she said and I told her. I was thinking maybe I went to school with her, Brian immediately thought we sold her something from Craigslist. Then she said, "Aidan!" and I knew, she was a blog reader. My first sighting and it was so bizarre because we had accidentally worked our way over to this side of the stage, it was so weird how that all came together. We talked for a bit and then security kicked us out. What a crazy, wild night.

Not My Baby Mama

**I tried to not SPOIL the movie but if it bothers you somehow that something might be given away, though I've tried not to do that, you might want to skip this**

So I've been eagerly awaiting this comedy called "Baby Mama," about a 30 something lady who can't conceive and her funny antics trying to conceive and finally hiring a surrogate mother. It wasn't until we were late, rushing into the movie theater that I realized the movie that was supposed to appeal to me, a late 30something who can't conceive, and needs a good strong laugh about it, would most likely be filled with 20somethings who had NO IDEA.

You'd think that would be the worst of it but instead the movie was filled with 13 year olds who squeal when they see an IUI catheter, Dude, it's a tiny freaking straw, ever heard of a penis or a freaking tampon, a tiny little straw freaks you out? And when they aren't squealing of embarrassment over what their mid-thirties have in store for them if they decide it's better to not be a single mom at 22 and wait for the ever elusive fairytale they are texting and sticking their flashlight cell phones right in my eye line and talking talking talking through the movie. I can't take it anymore. We've decided as of tonight to ban Friday night movies. I go to the movies to escape, to leave my life for a little while (even though I realize I'm choosing a TTC movie) and be in someone else's world. You can't do that if you are texting, texting, texting, and talking, talking, talking through the freaking movie and neither can anyone else near you.

I don't even really know how I feel about the movie, I was so distracted. I do know the movie that was supposed to give me big laughs over my similar issues, turned into how to be one of the worst people in the world and how a movie can seriously cop out and end with happy songs about FAMILIES because every body knows you can't have a family without kids. And how can we possibly have this movie and not have a happy ending for everyone and we all know there's only one way to have a happy ending when all odds are against you.

I hate holding back tears at the end of a comedy feeling once again that I'm excluded from this club that there's nothing I can do to belong to that I'm not already doing. I wasn't expecting insight from this movie, I really wasn't, I wanted to have a laugh over something that's really sad and really fucking sucks but instead it just poofed out with this fairy dust.

Not everyone gets the fairy dust and they'll all be going to see this movie hoping to laugh at their situation, just like I did. Something I wish they would have thought about. It still could have been funny and lived up to its expectations.

Her Baseball Career is Shot, But We'll Still Call Her Shorty

Last night after dinner we were watching a very funny episode of The Colbert Report when Bella entered the dining room with a very bad, scary limp. So much so that I almost started crying. Brian and I were trying to figure out what was wrong and looked at her paw, her leg, her shoulder. She never yelped or anything with all our touching and massaging. It was the weirdest thing ever. We tried to figure out if we should take her to the emergency vet, I was leaning towards this option though it would cost an arm and a leg, or wait until the morning since she wasn't showing any sign of pain and always slept with us on the bed at night anyway (as opposed to Zimmy and sometimes Aidan who seem to turn the house into a nightclub after dark). We decided on waiting until the morning and it was a long long night. I checked out google to see if I could get any insight and found out it could be anything from a tiny speck of something in her paw to hip dysplasia and that cats don't show pain (Aidan didn't get this memo) so it would be difficult to know if she as in pain. Basically no help at all.

Morning finally arrived and we called the vet first thing and they had us come in. The doctor flexed every part of her leg very yoga style and found nothing was swollen or felt broken. She also didn't have a temperature. We didn't have to get x-rays. He declared it to be a soft tissue wound from some sort of activity like jumping off a counter compounded by her being overweight. He prescribed a steroid to help her heal and a diet.

I took Bella out to the car while Brian paid and he came out with some sort of packet of treats where you put the pill inside the treat and the cat magically eats the pill. Bella doesn't really like treats or people food besides the occasional tiny, smaller than a bite sized piece of chicken or ham so I didn't expect it to work at all.

Later in the afternoon I decided to try the treat so I pulled one out, it was smelly and soft, I stuck a half a pill inside and placed it before Bella. She sniffed at it and gave it a little taste and then left it. I knew it wouldn't work. Brian said to break the treat into a smaller piece with the pill inside so I removed 2/3 of the treat and smooshed the rest around the pill. She ate it! I can't believe it. Brilliant idea by Brian that I should have realized because I've given her small bits of chicken that she just sniffs and leaves but if it's a super tiny piece she'll eat it. I just assumed she wouldn't eat it because it was a manufactured treat. If she continues to eat the treats it will make her pill giving so much easier.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to watch her poor little limb and know there's nothing seriously wrong with her. It breaks my heart to watch her walk.

Cycle Day One (CD1)

Finally!